"well, maybe youre more suited for working in the restaurant..."

"oh? what does that entail?"

"well, someone asks you for this salad, or that sandwich, and then you give it to them"

yes. because obviously, as ive had no proper retail experience and plenty of food industry experience, the only thing im fit to do is scoop salads. retail? that's the big leagues, kid. we can't just stick someone in there who's never sold a handbag before...right? heh...hah. i mean..come on, what do you think it is, child's play? the handbag industry is big business, kid. you have to know about patterns...straps...patterns and straps...straps and patterns. it's really quite complex...dont even get me started on buckles.

(but isn't the only way to gain retail experience to be given an opportunity?)

no really. the salad scooping biz, thats right up your alley. there's all those spoons, those vegetables...and we pay you at least 3 dollars less an hour there too. it's grand. you'll love it. there arent even windows in the basement to distract your attention from all those vats of food.

maybe i am looking for love in all the wrong places. to the cafes i go. if i wanted to be treated like a complete imbecile i would have written my resume out in crayon or something.

do any professors need a research assistant?