the dating game.

"i just want to get married;
you know, just ditch this dating shit...what is it anyway? it's pointless...to waste all your time and energy on someone who eventually wont be worth it. it drains the heart, the mind, the soul. i dont want to do it anymore."

"youre rediculous."

"why? because i havent seen anyone since i've moved here? there's no one here. everyone is wrapped up in themselves, in their pretentious little ideals, with their skinny perfect girlfriends. it's not that i haven't looked, but it's hard to look when it feels like no one is looking for you...

..i just want to get married."

"do you think that you'll just walk right up to your soulmate and that will be it? over? fini?"

"well..."

"well?"

"well...no. you have to know someone a while. but i dont want the 'date.' that initial awkwardness, who will pay? is it really a date? do i have spinach in my teeth?...no. we will be friends first. maybe not even friends. or, those friends who just randomly bump into eachother and say, 'oh wow, its been ages, lets grab a coffee...' and you grab a coffee and it's nice to talk. to catch up. to discuss the world. you know?--"

"this isnt a romantic comedy"

"i'm not saying it is...anyway, its what i want. doesnt mean its going to happen...what was i saying?..yeah. so you then one day youre together, on you biannual or whatever coffee outing and he goes, 'hey, lets just get married. i like you, you like me, we get along, we talk about life...'"

"is he hot?"

"no. guh. i dont know. youre missing the point. hes not 'hot.' he just fits. is fit the right word? let's say it is. we'd fit, you know? ive got this picture in my head that that's how it will be...not so much a head over heels 'god i cant live without seeing your face' kind of love...a love that just, is right. i think those are the kinds that endure anyway. the passion is there, but it doesnt govern the relationship, therefore it doesnt burn out...new kindling is added to it every time you laugh at eachother or you catch eachother's eyes and just smile, or when your hands brush together while youre walking and you feel that tingle in your stomach that reminds you of how much you care. to care. to love. i just want that, and once i get it, i know i'm not going to want it to end."

"hmm"

"im not saying it has to be like that you know. it's just a dream. most likely an idealization..."

"it's a pretty one."

"yeah"

"yeah."


viola sipped her coffee and looked at andrea. the candle reflected in the tin table and the glow of the cafe juxtaposed with the softly falling snow outside the fogged windows made it even warmer.



[this is all i have so far...to be continued...if i can figure out what to write]